Now a week back from Switzerland, I am just beginning to land. After less than two months in the United States (I moved from Germany to San Francisco on May 19th, and then flew to Switzerland on July 4th), my trip back to Europe was perhaps too soon. Like seeing an ex lover before enough time has passed, the heart longed for the joyful memories and what is no longer.

Yes, it was too soon for a trip to the land where I spent the best year of my life. Walking toward my gate in Washington, DC where I changed planes, I looked at the international departure destinations: Mexico City, Paris, Munich, Frankfurt. My eyes teared. I could always move back, I thought to myself. If it were meant to be, I’d find a way. I felt the gentle reminder to give my life in San Francisco more time to settle, evolve, and find itself.

Arriving at Zurich airport, I appreciated the distinctively Swiss slick black leather seats against a sleek silver frame in a nearby gate’s waiting area. I admired the European fashion around me consisting of streamlined suits, elegant scarves, bold yet not overstated eyewear, and firm footwear. Waiting for my suitcase, I felt the early morning stillness, and weary excitement of my fellow travelers. I listened to an American man with a group of kids make a series of playful comments. I wondered why he felt so compelled to engage in constant chatter. He then turned to me and said, “I cannot believe how quiet it is here.” With my suitcase en tow, I followed the signs to the Bahn train. In the food court and shopping area, I saw Tchibo, Migros, and bakeries— all familiar territory.

On the local train into the hills toward Teufen and Hotel Santis, I looked at the bright green rolling hills, cows, orderly Swiss architecture with boxy lines and pristine appearance, and enticing mountains surrounding the peak of Mt. Santis in the distance. The train traveled through Lustmuhle en route, with the Paracelsus Clinic just minutes from the tracks, across the intersection, and up a side street.

“Welcome home,” said Dr. Rau to me the next afternoon as I sat waiting for my appointment with him. Welcome home. On many levels, the Paracelsus Clinic feels like home.

Not without struggle and discomfort, my two weeks there felt like magic. Numerous factors combined to create the alchemy of healing. The treatments, food, care and feedback from Paracelsus practitioners, white light, conversations with other patients and their loved ones, landscape, and Swiss mountain air transformed my being.

My live blood analysis, which is a major diagnostic tool at Paracelsus, reflected some improvements. My body still needs a lot more nourishment for my cells to strengthen. To boost my cells, I’m going to experiment with some new foods over the next several months. There is no such thing as a one size fits all cancer diet.

During my time at Paracelsus, I thought a lot about spirituality, religion, and God. I had many conversations about the existence of a higher power and the ingredients of faith, including when facing a major health challenge. The theme emerged over and over with many people I encountered. I even visited a stunning church with my friends Ken and Terry where we all felt the presence of a higher power that spoke to us, and through us.

I once again experienced pronounced love in my heart through the medicines, detoxing, care of the physicians, nurses, and other staff, as well as the community of patients and their loved ones. Dr. Ade, a physician at Paracelsus, and I spoke about the power of the heart, and ways in which I might invite my heart to open more fully— to love more, and be loved. I know through my intellect, intuition, and spirituality that the heart is the strongest healer, and wisest teacher.

My treatment schedule was fairly rigorous with another liver cleanse, infusions, ozone, heavy metal detoxification, dental work, mind-body therapies, infrared saunas, magnet treatments, liver packs, thymus therapy, Indiba (localized hyperthermia), whole body hyperthermia, and more. Although I’ve heard that whole body hyperthermia is contraindicated in brain tumor patients, Dr. Rau recommended it for me emphasizing it is one of their core therapies and that he determined me fit for the treatment. Whole body hyperthermia involves the application of heat to the entire body that is contained within a tent. My head was on the outside of the tent. The treatment went smoothly without any complications. I returned to the hotel afterwards, and rested for the afternoon until evening when I consumed the finale of the liver cleanse cocktails. Over the next 36 hours, I passed approximately 140 liver and gallbladder stones. Unlike last time, I could feel some of the stones exiting my liver. Like last time, the shape of my face changed, along with my skin tone. I was very tired in the aftermath of the cleanse. Although I still had several days of therapies, including infusions, to boost my system, I left Paracelsus feeling quite worn on some levels, and invigorated on many others.

Are the Paracelsus therapies impacting my tumor size? I am due for a scan in the near future. I know that biological medicine is often a long-term approach, and brain tumors traditionally take longer to respond compared with many other types of cancer, as I’ve reported before. I am open to being an exception! If we can hold the disease steady, that is success as well. And yet, I truly believe that with comprehensive detoxification of the internal terrain, strengthening of the immune system, and addressing other aspects of the disease state, it is possible to reduce and eradicate the tumor.

Reflecting on my time at Paracelsus, my mind focuses on the conversations and moments of deep connection that I experienced. Moments of feeling like we are all in this together. Moments of experiencing I am not alone. Moments of seeing other people’s struggles. Moments of recognizing that life can be really hard, and through adversity we can gain deeper strength. Moments of knowing that life continues regardless of the circumstances. Moments of connecting with the presence of a higher power. Moments of dropping the anger, pain, and despair, embracing my heart’s true power, and trusting life. Moments of fully embodying that love is the most supreme and divine healer.

I slept with my all of my windows open at Hotel Santis. I peered out into the starry sky, and toward the mountains in the horizon. I heard the cowbells in the distance. I breathed in the fresh Swiss air. I felt free.