10 Years of Brain Tumor Survivorship

February 29, 2008

I apologize for this delayed February blog! Life has been very busy. There are many exciting happenings, and I wish for more time in my days.

My happiest news is that this March and April mark my 10 year anniversary of brain tumor survivorship! This is a huge deal!!! March 19 is the anniversary of my diagnosis, and April 22 of my brain surgery. I welcome you joining me in celebration— please feel free to send me an email or a card (PO Box 1301, Sausalito, CA 94966), give me a call, and/or express your joy through loving, positive thoughts!

There have been many times since the spring of 1998 that I did not know if I’d make it this far. I’ve always seen myself into the future as an old woman, and yet I’ve experienced many moments, and arrived at many crossroads, where I was not sure if, and especially how, I’d make it. I now have more trust than ever in my healing.

My 10 year anniversary has caused tremendous pause for reflection. I’ve pondered the highs and lows, lessons learned, friends made and lost along the way, and the fact that I’ve chosen to engage my health and healing in profound ways that have made me a stronger, wiser, and better person. Yes, I am still a work in progress, and sometimes I fail miserably to be the person I know I can be, and yet I have embraced my journey with courage, perseverance, deep inquiry, honesty, intelligence, and integrity. My healing has required me to follow my inner knowing and unique path. This has not always been easy, especially as I’ve been criticized for being unconventional and also experienced some degree of betrayal by health care providers along the way. I know in my heart and soul that those experiences of adversity and challenge provide the portal to my deeper personal growth and development. I’ve been tested beyond what I perceived as my own capacity to discover my true strength. As I see all of my life experiences as lessons for my soul’s evolution, my worldview and experiences are a reflection of my growing trust in life, and myself.  

The knowledge and wisdom (which we all possess from our life experiences) that I’ve acquired over 10 years is beyond what I’m able to write in this blog now. I wish for the time to write my book and translate my journey into a broader offering. I know this opportunity will come in right timing.

I have now finished my third month on the Gonzalez protocol. The treatments continue to work very well for me. I feel increasingly vital and healthy the more I progress on the protocol. I also continue to have some ups and downs, including moments where I do not feel entirely well. I’m learning how to negotiate them much better. When I drop my fear, everything is possible.

I will attest that the Gonzalez protocol is extremely challenging and requires a level of commitment that I personally was not able to assert until now. There are days where I feel frustrated that I need to spend so much time on my health. I have come to view my activities around the Gonzalez protocol as a spiritual practice. I am learning discipline, new forms of self-care, and more, including a humbling appreciation for the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual changes that occur as my body cleanses on even deeper levels.

I feel tremendous momentum as signs of spring shine through in my world. I hold gratitude for my triumphs, and more trust for the divinity in all of life.